


The Devil On Your Shoulder

by TheWordsInMyHead



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellamy & Madi bonding, Dark Commander, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo, Post-Episode: s06e06, Protective Bellamy, grieving bellamy, stroll down memory lane, they both miss Clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 18:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19256560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWordsInMyHead/pseuds/TheWordsInMyHead
Summary: It’s strange, Bellamy thinks as he sits there with his hand in hers, he doesn’t know Madi very well, hasn’t had the time or the opportunity, but he feels like he does. Part of that is definitely Clarke’s influence. She raised her, who Madi is as a person is a direct reflection of who Clarke is, was and despite all of their ups and downs, he still feels like he knows her. But it’s more than that, there is a deep seated sense of familiarity. As strange as it sounds, he looks at her and he sees himself. His struggles, his fears, his pain all reflected back at him, and that terrifies him.Bellamy learns of Madi's plans to attack Sanctum and tries to stop her.





	The Devil On Your Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> This story started off as a short little thing meant to appease my frustration after they went and ended the scene in the last episode right after Bellamy tells Madi about Clarke and then just developed from there. I love me some Madi and Bellamy bonding so it’s not a surprise. 
> 
> This is the first thing I have ever finished and been happy enough with to post so please be kind. 
> 
> Sorry if there are any formatting errors or any other errors for that matter. I gave this a quick read through myself, but I didn’t look too closely because I was afraid if I did then I would chicken out and not post again. 
> 
> Wow this is getting long, I ramble when I’m nervous, can you tell? Okay I’m going to stop now. 
> 
> Enjoy, I hope you like it.

Even though Bellamy had heard of their rebellious plans long before he barged his way into the room, it still hurts when he walks in to find them pouring over battle strategies. 

“What is it you think you are doing?” he questions angry voice booming off of the walls. . 

For a beat no one reacts to his presence or his question. Then Echo is standing up from the table and walking towards him with her hands passively raised in front of her. 

“Bellamy” she says slowly, tone and posture working together in an attempt to cool his anger. 

He thinks maybe the tempering would have worked just a little bit better if she actually looked guilty, instead she just looks resigned to the coming disagreement. 

“Don’t give me that,” he snaps at her, moving farther into the room to meet her. 

“Really though, what’s the plan here Echo,” Bellamy asks once he is standing directly in front of her. 

“We kill them, they kill us and the world burns?” 

He asks the question rhetorically, hopelessly. 

“We have been here before and done that. As I recall it didn’t end well for anyone.” 

“So I need to know exactly what it is you think your accomplishing here.” Gesturing to the room around him, he is harsh words and sharp movements. All of his pain and grief morphing into frustration and anger. 

In the presence of his hostility Echo visibly shuts down, reverting back to the unfeeling soldier. 

“I am following my commanders orders,” she answers eyes cold, posture stiff. 

“Your Commander,” he explodes all of his pent up emotions escaping in rage that is neither justifiable nor helpful. 

“No Echo, no.” He shakes his head sadly, “make no mistake, that right there is nothing more than a child who is lashing out because she is scared and feels alone.” 

When she makes no attempt to respond he huffs, “Why am I not surprised that you still aren’t able to see that.” 

The weight of that accusation hangs in the air until Echo, with a sigh, makes her way towards the door knowing that right now arguing with him is pointless. 

However something must hold her back because she pauses at the door seemingly compelled to try and make him understand regardless of the fritillary. 

“Despite what you may think in the moment, I am perfectly aware of who she is and what she has been though. I just happen to agree with her.” 

She turns to face him, “ These people are dangerous, they have broken our trust once, who’s to say that they won’t do it again. Why should we leave ourselves vulnerable to their inevitable betrayal? But then again I’m not surprised that you can’t see that” she remarks throwing his words back at him and then leaving. 

With Echo’s exit a new weight seems to settle on Bellamy’s shoulders, the last 36 hours adding numerous years to his life. But like always, he forces himself to push those feelings down and instead focus on the issue in front of him. 

Hw turns towards Madi, sitting at the head of the table looking much more like a war chief than the happy child she had been just 48 hours ago. 

That realization knocks that last bit of fight out of him and he is once again let with nothing but pain and devastation. 

“Madi, come on,” he says allowing the grief that he had been trying to repress colour his voice, “I know it’s hard, I miss her too. But we need to let this one go. It’s for the best. And more importantly it’s what Clarke would have wanted.” 

“I don’t care” Madi remarks simply, robotically, “besides Clarke’s gone so she doesn’t get a vote anyways.” 

“You don’t really believe that Madi,” he says sinking down into the chair across from her. 

“Yes I do! They need to pay for what they did” 

She is full of passion and anger. A dangerous combination. 

“I get it. I do” he implores at her disbelieving look, “when I first found out I was so angry, just like you are now. I was ready to burn this place and all it’s people to the ground for what they did.” 

“So what’s stopping you then?” She questions full of frustration. 

“You know exactly what,” he says potentially, but he repeats himself just in case it’s actually going to break through this time. “I knew that it wasn’t what Clarke would have wanted for me and I’m positive that it is not what she would have wanted for you.” 

“I understand that your angry, that your scared, I am too. But this isn’t the way we move forward because, Madi, no matter what we do or how many people pay, she isn’t coming back” he says voice breaking by the end. 

“But no matter what,” he continues clearing his throat, “You are not alone, okay. I’m here and I’m going to try my absolute best to make sure that I always am.” 

He grabs her hand and for a minute she looks conflicted, like what he is saying is actually making an impact, but then her face turns impassive again and he is left wondering where the girl who just wanted to go to school went. 

“No!” She yells abruptly into the seemingly empty corner breaking Bellamy out of his thoughts, “Shut up, shut up, shut up! Your wrong.” 

As Madi covers her ears with her hands, closes her eyes and curls inward on herself everything suddenly makes more sense to Bellamy and he is filled with a whole new level of dread. 

“Madi! Madi!” 

He moves to grab her, pulling her arms down and then maneuvering himself until he is down on his knees in front of her and can look she straight in the eyes. 

“Madi, it’s okay. Look at me, focus on my voice” 

After a few moments have passed, Bellamy gives her a look silently asking if she is okay. 

She gives a slight nod of her head. 

“How long as the dark commander being communicating with you while your awake?” He asks making his way back into his seat, but retaining hold of her hand. 

Ripping her hand way, she gives him a disgruntled look, but since it reads more frustrated pre teen than ancient shadow commander, he isn’t worried. 

“What nonsense has Gaia been telling you?” 

He accusation takes him aback along with the newfound distain for her beloved teacher. He makes a mental note to make sure someone checks on Gaia. 

“No actually, Clarke,” he says her name wishfully, “before… everything, she was telling me about how you were having trouble with one of the commanders. That you need to focus on training because he could be very dangerous if you weren’t strong enough to make him submit.” 

“Don’t worry,” she says quickly, “I’ve got it handled.” 

The way she says it all so quickly and with such absolute confidence gives him a bad feeling. 

“Madi, please tell me that you didn’t invite the evil commander into your mind.” 

She looks at him shyly, “define invite.” 

All of a sudden he is transferred back in time to a 13 year old Octavia on the ark. He didn’t know what to do then and he certainly doesn’t know what to do now, but he guess that he better figure it out fast. 

“Madi,” he cries rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair, “what were you thinking?” 

“It not nearly as bad as you are making it seem. I have still got control, he can’t make me do anything I don’t want to.” 

She clearly didn’t answer his question and he isn’t about to let her get away with that so he repeats it, his voice low and serious, “why Madi.” 

He continues to stare at her, patiently waiting for the moment where she when she breaks. 

For a minute she squirms in her chair, avoiding eye contact at all costs, but eventually, like Bellamy knew she would, she caves. “He was already there before everything happened and I was trying to keep him contained. But then you told me about Clarke and that we had to just it go. He said that he could help me, that together we could avenge her. Blood must have blood and all that.” 

“And I want that. I need it,” she continues desperately. 

Unsure of what to say or how to respond, Bellamy reaches his out towards her, silently showing his understanding, his acceptance and his support. After a moment she takes his hand gratefully, squeezing tightly, accepting the comfort and reassurance. 

It’s strange, Bellamy thinks as he sits there with his hand in hers, he doesn’t know Madi very well, hasn’t had the time or the opportunity, but he feels like he does. Part of that is definitely Clarke’s influence. She raised her, who Madi is as a person is a direct reflection of who Clarke is and despite all of their ups and downs, he still feels like he knows her. But it’s more than that, there is a deep seated sense of familiarity. As strange as it sounds, he looks at her and he sees himself. His struggles, his fears, his pain all reflected back at him, and that terrifies him. 

“Clarke told you stories about our history right?” 

If she is thrown off by his drastic subject change, she doesn’t show it nodding her head in the affirmative. 

He continues, “what do you know about a man named Pike?” 

She scrunches up her face in confusion, trying to place the name. “He is the man responsible for Lincoln’s death, right?” 

Bellamy winces, Lincoln’s passing a sore subject even after all these years. “Yes, but what do rememberer about my involvement with him.” 

Her eyes go wide, “you were working with him?” 

Well I guess that answers that question, Bellamy thinks wearily. Apparently Clarke only told her stories about him which showed him favourably. He should be grateful, but it’s going to mean background is required to make his point. 

Instead of answering her, Bellamy asks, “when is the last point you know from? It’s probably Mount Weather.” 

She nods. 

“Okay so we had just um,” he pauses unsure of how to describe what they did in that mountain to the child in front of him, “defeat the Mountain Men and were on our way back home with our people—” 

She picks up the story eagerly, clearly over whatever issues she had with her parental figure committing genocide, reciting what must be from memory. “At the gates of the castle the princess froze, unable to convince herself to go in, but she was confident that the king would look after their people, so she didn’t force herself. Even through she know that leaving was the right choice, it was hard to leave the king standing there. She was sad to let him go.” 

Madi’s words remind Bellamy that this is far from the first time he has lost Clarke, but the realization doesn’t make the suffocating weight on he chest or lump in his throat any less painful. 

Perhaps picking up on his thoughts, Madi adds “I never liked that ending, so she got in the habit of adding ‘but she knew she would see him again, the Princess and the King always made there way back to each other’ to the end.” 

Yeah, Bellamy thinks wishfully, that’s a better ending. He wishes desperately that there was even a sliver of hope that she could come back to him, like all the other times. But that’s not realistic, so he takes a deep breath and reminds himself to focus on Madi, on protecting her. 

With a small smile towards Madi, Bellamy takes over the story again. “I met Pike a few months later when I was in a really dark place. In the months between I had been seeing someone and she was unexpectedly killed in an explosion. Then I reunited with Clarke, only for her to chose to stay away once again. My relationship with Octavia was also a mess, she had been distancing herself, become more and more a grounder. I was alone, grieving and angry when he offered me the chance to make things right. To honour Gina’s memory and protect everyone else I loved from a similar fate. It was an easy decision then, but one that I’m sure I’ll regret till the day I die.” 

Explaining it all out, the parallels between the two situations are greater than he realized. 

“What happened?” she asks hesitantly, afraid of the answer. 

“I did what I thought was necessary at the time to protect those around me. I let go of morality, of right and wrong believing that the end justified the means. And so I was part of a team that murdered 300 grounders as they slept guarding our gates.” 

That fact that she looks horrified at his confession sends a wave of relief through him even as he is filled with shame for his long ago crimes. 

“So believe me when I say I know what is like to have someone offer you a chance revenge. That is so much easier to be angry than sad, especially when you have a devil on your shoulder whispering lies and half truths. And trust me when I say that in the long run it doesn’t work. 

“What am I supposed to do then?” 

She looks so uncertain, sitting there in front of him. 

“Because it’s not as simple as doing nothing either. Even if you don’t want to admit it, Echo has a point. These people are dangerous , they have proved that. It would be foolish to blindly believe that what happened to Clarke was an isolated incident.” 

“I know, I know.” Bellamy sighs, for a moment he lets the all encompassing weight consume him. 

She is look at him like she believes he knows all the answers, but the reality is that he doesn’t. The truth is that grief is blinding him just as much, if not more, than her. He went from one end of the extreme, to the opposite. He is lost and off balance, trying to swim but really just slowly drowning. God, what he wouldn’t do to have Clarke here, she always seemed to balance out his more subversive tendencies. 

With that revaluation he suddenly knows exactly what to tell Madi. 

“I’m presuming you know the story of how me and Clarke first met?” 

She nods her head yes. 

“Do you know why we decided to lead together?” 

“Because each of you thought you were better at it and were both to stubborn to back down,” she answers sassily. 

“No. Well yes, but no. We decided to become co leaders because we realized that we worked better as a unit,” 

“Yes the head and the heart,” she says recalling another of Clarke’s stories. 

As the silence drags on, Madi begins to realize that she must be missing the point. Okay and…” 

“And that’s how we figure out what to do. We do it together” 

The answer seems so obvious that it makes Bellamy laugh, albeit a little hysterically. Since he had learned that Clarke wasn’t Clarke, he had isolated him. Closed himself off from everyone around in self preservation. But if they are going to make it though this alive and with their humanity intact, he is going to have to open himself up to other people, and the possibility of pain. 

“Together” she says, 

“Together” he responds. 

They may not have Clarke anymore, but they still had each other.


End file.
